It’s been a while since I’ve talked to most of you about how my wife, Marcia, is doing. For some of you, this communication is a first. It’s really hard to address the question people want to ask, “How’s Marcia doing”? Alzheimer’s (AD) is unlike her breast cancer diagnosis last spring. In this case, we were fortunate to have had an early diagnosis, a surgical procedure (lumpectomy) and radiation, and basically the elimination of the disease. AD has no such path to follow, and while we see inevitable changes in her brain that affect her every day, her strength to carry on and how she’s choosing to live her life every day is always inspiring to me.
Last weekend was a milestone weekend where the usual progression of AD took a significant change in how our daily lives function. Marcia’s younger sister, Cindy, flew up from Tennessee to spend the week with us, and Friday night Marcia and Cindy went to dinner with some of Marcia’s closest friends. With my blessing and my daughter Riley’s input, the people who love her so much told her it was time to give up driving. In her heart, she knew this was the right decision, and while it was quite an emotional night, I believe Marcia is at peace with the decision.
Saturday, Cindy, Marcia and I ran a 5k race in Hillsborough (Marcia placed third in her age group), went to my son’s lacrosse game, then spent the afternoon updating a website (Lotsa Helping Hands – Team Marcia) that a friend (Christine Walker) set up months ago. Until Saturday, this site was designed to organize meals from 30+ different families. Saturday we (Christine actually) expanded this to include transportation. By Sunday, we had rides for the entire month of June for Marcia to attend her classes at the YMCA and Healthquest, and my son’s transportation to camp all summer has been taken care of. Unbelievable response and Marcia was overwhelmed with the response and has accepted her driving situation with the same courage and strength she’s shown through her illness. My daughter, Riley, has been amazing this week and is really stepping up to do more and is really becoming quite a mature, young lady. I’ve been cautious about how much to share with my kids about Marcia’s illness, but this week Riley was added to the “Team Marcia” site and this is what she wrote: “Marcia's daughter- 16 years old. It means so much to me to see everyone helping out where my dad and I can't. Every little bit counts.” I didn’t think she was ready. Turns out it was me that wasn’t ready!!
As most of you know, I’ve struggled with accepting so much generosity without being able to reciprocate. As I’m learning, people truly want to help and get such satisfaction from being able to do so. I can’t begin to recognize the value Cindy provided to my family in such a short period of time last week, and how so many friends have done so much that I couldn’t possibly have done on my own. This driving decision has been eating at me for a few weeks and I really needed others to be there to address this with Marcia.
I want to thank all of you for your support. In addition to those already mentioned here, Shannon Boczon has been an unbelievable friend to us, as has Jill Carmosino, and countless others. Whether I work with you, live near you, or you know Marcia from as far back as college, you have all been an important part of our lives. Whether you have helped me at work, home or just with prayer, all of it has been appreciated more than you know.
My unending thanks to you all!!
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